The End is Near

Tomorrow I'll have almost zilch-o time at home, and so I need to write this now. I've put it off long enough. You would think I would have done this earlier today, seeing as all that I've done for the past four hours or so is read. The same book, the same position on the couch, the same incessant growling of my stomach. But this task is so daunting, my willpower so close to nil, that I need the power of music! CUE THE LADY GAGA!
Nope. The last song my friends listened to yesterday was Your Love is My Drug. I guess we'll stick with Ke$ha for now.
Sunday July 18
Megan came over at 10:30, much to the disgust of my sleeping self. I had to get up at 9:30 BLACK EYED PEAS- MEET ME HALFWAY, eat, brush my teeth, other necessary preparations for facing the public, and put on sunscreen. I absolutely detest the feeling of sunscreen, but love the smell. A girl can't have it all, can she? Anyways... I was lathering up in the kitchen, with Mom spouting off a checklist of stuff I needed to have with me, when Megan rang the doorbell. I was all "Come in, come in, I'm just running late, like always!" When my arms were loaded up with a bag of lunch and change of clothes, Megan led me outside, where I was rather surprised. "Where's your car?" Megan laughed and pointed down my never-ending driveway. "Dad didn't want to try to maneuver his way down the driveway TIMBALAND- THE WAY I ARE with the boat so he parked in the street." That made total sense to me, because my driveway is this weird, curvy snakelike thing that few daring people manage to back down without crushing my dehydrated grass. Anyways, this day is still not over and I've only talked you up to about 10:38. I'll start typing reallyreallyreally fast, and thinking like I'm not craving an ice cream sandwich. FERGIE-BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY Zeke was in the car, and Megan pointed out powdered sugar she and Sorrell had spilled onto the car floor as a result of their disastrous fried dough eating attempt. (Megan had invited me to go too, but I was having a super fun time camping! Bird poop, farting men, watermelon slugs, etc.) When we got to the dock where Megan and Family push the boat into the water, I stepped aside and watched as they used an intricate system of calling to each other to work the boat into the water, with Megan shouting directions to her father who was driving the car, and her brother who was sitting in the boat, ready to gun the engine once the boat was floating. Once that was all settled, and I had gotten myself into the boat, Mr. J steered the boat north. Within the first twenty seconds of FLO RIDA- LOW us zipping up the Merrimack, my headband flew out of my hair into the river behind me. I shouldn't have assumed the largeness of my head would keep it in there. But you know what they say about assuming stuff. Consequently, it was difficult to see for the rest of the ride, what with the wind whipping my hair in my face in an anti-modelesque way. Megan gave the first demonstration on how to water ski, and she was totally awesome! Didn't fall once, that Megan didn't. Then I let Zeke go, so I could get another example of how to get the skis on in the water and get up out of the water once we started moving. Zeke did even better than Megan, if that's possible. And then it was my turn. EPIC. FAILURE. I tried to get up three times, and I was pulled out of my skis each time. Finally, I said I would let Megan and Zeke LEELA JAMES-TELL ME YOU LOVE ME go again so I could learn more from their wise ways. Megan went first, then Zeke Velcro'ed himself to the kneeboard. As we sped south, we hit some unexpected rocks. We watched the propeller bounce up and down, and then Zeke, which was actually really funny, and our fast movement was done for the day. We couldn't do much more than putt our way back to the loading dock area. And we were about as far away as you can get. We decided we might as well eat lunch right then, seeing as it was already 12. I ate a very healthy lunch of a peanut butter sandwich, a bag of Doritos, RIHANNA- SOS and the pretzels that I picked out of the family size Chex Mix. We played the food memory game, where you name a food, then the person after you has to name the food you did and one of their own, and so on. It was more fun when we did it with drinks. It's contents included: Sprite, Sprite Zero, a martini on the rocks, beer, Shirley Temple, coconut milk, water, beer, lemonade, grape juice, White Zinfendel, and there were more that weren't as memorable. It took me forever to learn how to say Zinfendel. Zeke had to keep saying "Zin. Fen. Dellllllllll." And there was a whole debate over whether coconut liquid is called milk or juice. I was team Coconut Milk, and it was a legit heated discussion. KE$HA- TIK TOK
The reason there are so few words in between each song is because I would stop typing and start singing the songs. We swam in the river for awhile when it got too hot, and lucky for us, we were not turned into mutant creatures of the night. I sat on the tube for awhile, making Zeke and Megan pull me around the river whilst letting me call them my minions. When we were done with that, Megan's dad hooked up the tube to the boat and we floated back on it after about twenty minutes of us trying to get on the tube. We eventually pulled it to the boat and jumped onto it, which was difficult because I had to figure out a way to jump onto it without severely injuring Megan. We floated peacefully BEYONCE- SINGLE LADIES for about ten minutes, when Megan fell off. I tried to keep the tube level for her to reboard while also holding my foot out to her so we wouldn't abandon her. Another fail, another jump from the side of the boat. We then had to arrange ourselves so she laid across the entire tube, with me on top of her, making a cross. After the initial weirdness of that, we started waving to people on other watercraft who were going a bajillion miles faster than us. And of course, with my luck, the waves those people made caused Megan to shift, which pushed me off the tube. We weren't allowed on the tube anymore after that. Ugh. That day is over. Thank goodness. BLACK EYED PEAS- LET'S GET IT STARTED BTW, Julia went to camp that day. I forgot that small detail.
Monday July 19
I'm going to stop recording every single detail. I really put a lot of effort into that last day. Too bad I have 17 days more to recount. I went to work with Dad, and read a lot of my book. I made 14 cents in tips (woo! almost enough to buy a stick of gum!) RIHANNA- SHUT UP AND DRIVE and learned to handle the register better than before. Lefty came in and I made a crack about how people always call him Lefty, why not Righty? He didn't get it. Jon came in the evening, and we ate a pizza. Almost. There were a couple slices leftover, but in the grand scheme of things, that's about 66.6% of a pie. That's impressive, right? Then we were loaded into his mom's shiny car, and drove foreeeeeeeeever to a golf place right down the street. I got my butt handed to me on a shining silver pedestal. Silver because I came in second. We practiced for a while, did some imitations of people we know who are missing mini versions of limbs KE$HA- BLAH BLAH BLAH and elderly folk. Then we were rushed through the course because of some people behind us who were too good and fast for our skill level. The scores were depressing, partly because I know I would have lost by a lot more had it not been for the insane pro golfer couple behind us. So I didn't even lose honestly! And we had some disaster ice cream that got all over my arm, table, and anything else in sight. We befriended a small gray bird, and silently laughed at a little boy who was wearing some interesting footwear. MADONNA- FOUR MINUTES I got some amazingly sweet presents from him that I absolutely adore, especially the necklace!
Okay, Julia's gonna kick me off the computer in a couple minutes, so I need to start coloring words and adding pictures and stuff. I only got two days done (how is that possible??? It's been a half hour!) but hopefully I'll find time on Saturday.
GOING TO WATCH SYTYCD IN A HALF HOUR!
Sarah