Thursday, September 23, 2010

Baldness is Cool

One of my many questions about life is:
Do bald people shampoo their heads?  Or do they use some kind of special lotion?

Not exactly what I was googling, but oh well.
Shannon's dad is bald, although he prefers the term "folically challenged", so I asked her what kind of product he applies to his shiny head.  She said "Why would he shampoo, if he has no hair?"  Which is a very valid point.  She did, however, say that he applies a special lotion to his amazingly hairless head.  I think it's really cool that he has a beard but no hair.  I often think of people like him removing their head-hair and placing it upon their chin, like one of those sticky mustaches.  This paragraph is not organized at all.  I never realized how short an attention span I have.  Today in math, it was about 8:30 in the morning, I realized that my eyelids were not putting up a very good fight against gravity, and neither was my head, which kept bobbing down towards my chest as Mrs. R rambled on about the importance of verbal models and how we weren't paying attention.  Which we weren't, but who can expect us to when there are much more important things on our minds, like what kind of hair/anti-hair product the folically challenged use?  The teen years are the most troubled ones, I tell you.

I've been meaning to write about baldness forever, but I only remember during those random moments in life, like that second before I fall asleep, when I'm walking upstairs away from the computer, when I'm squished in between Megan and the Silent Ninja/Future Destroyer of the Earth on the bus, etc.  
I really hate the disorganizedness of this post.  It's gonna bug me until I edit it at a later date.  Right now, I just wanna go to bed, because tomorrow is going to be a loooooooooong day.
Friday:
Dance from 5-9
Emily's from 9:10 to some point the next morning
 Saturday:
I'll probably have to attend some soccer game.
Sunday:
THE AMAZING RACE 17!  WOOT WOOT!
Buenas noches.
Sarah

Some people were
dropped as babies...


but i think you were thrown at  a wall.
 

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Feliz cumpleaƱos Emily!

(Insert picture of Sarah and Emily here)
I was looking at the pictures on my computer that we have of me and the birthday girl, but as it turns out, there is  no photo of just me and her, and the ones we have from my birthday are all very bad.  As in, I have my eyes closed in one, Emily's staring into the middle distance in another pic, and I have crazed Walmart greeter smile/eyes in another one.  So it is mostly for my benefit that those pictures remain in the teeny little Nikon Transfer file and nowhere on the internet.  But since I cannot provide you with a picture, here is a song I wrote for Emily and sang to her on the phone, much to her horror.  
Happy birthday to you!
 You are - - +2!
You've been my buddy since first gra-a-a-a-a-ade!
A-a-a-a-a-and we'll be friends 'til our hair fades!

(Which it won't, thanks to small miracles like hair dye for the middle-aged!)
My original plan had been to get as many people as possible to sing her the classic Happy Birthday, like on the bus or in the school lobby, but I decided against it because
a.  I'd rather not talk to the creepy kids in the front lobby.
b.  I don't have anything to call her with.  (Excepting my grand singing voice!)
c.  I dream bigger than I achieve.

I also feel as though the world should know that today is Nick Jonas's 18th birthday.  CONGRATULATIONS EMILY!  YOU SHARE YOUR BIRTHDAY WITH A JONAS!  WOOOO!  
That poor, poor girl.
Because I am lacking a picture of my and my bestie, and I even GOOGLE SEARCHED her in the hopes of finding a picture, please accept this poor subsitute picture of a cat about to eat a small, fluffy bird.
I took a nap today.  And I'm cool enough to admit it.
-Sarah

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Words to Live By

A  line  is  a..
DOT THAT WENT FOR A WALK



Dear Noah,
 
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
 
Love & Rockets,
The Unicorns
.


"Did it hurt?''  "What?" "When you fell from heaven?" "Awww..." "Because your face is MESSED UP!"
If an orange is called an orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow?!
A few days ago, I found out that the Triceratops might not be a real dinosaur. I almost cried. First they say Pluto is not a planet, now THIS?!

Today, I learned that the guy who plays the voice of Optimus Prime in Transformers is the same guy who plays the voice of Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh. Mind Blown.

To heck with 11:11
i'm gonna go buy myself

2 goldfish and name them
Cosmo and Wanda
Dear Algebra teachers,
finding " X " is for pirates.
Sincerely, The ninjas.

LABELS
are for
SOUP CANS
[]

Dear Greenland,
We've successfully deceived the tourists. Good work.
Sincerely,
Iceland

I'm in love with my bed.
But my alarm clock won't let us be together.
</3


 "I love Eminem." 
"The candy?"
"No, the rapper."
"
What's so cool about M&M wrappers?"

Let's eat Grandma.
Or "Let's eat, Grandma."
Punctuation saves lives!!!
September: full pencil case
June 1: pen that was found on the ground.

Today, I have, for the first time in my life,
finished an entire tube of chapstick before permanently losing it.
I can die happily now.

I attempted to start a real post several times, but ultimately failed.  So you're stuck with this until Thursday.
Tomorrow is...
  • Wednesday
  • Picture Day (exaggerated sigh)
  • Open House night
  • first dance class of the year (ughhhhhhh.  I prefer to get my thirty minutes of daily excercise by typing.  BURN THOSE CALORIES, YOU FINGERS!)  
  • the day after today...  I'm running out of stuff to ramble about.
My favorite song of the week-  Dj Got Us Fallin' in Love WHOA THAT'S WEIRD... AS SOON AS I TYPED IT, IT CAME ONTO THE RADIO.  MUST DANCE!
Last  night I was home alone for awhile, and I proactively used my time to sing into a banana.  I have unbelievable amounts of potential.
I THINK I REMEMBER THOSE EYES, EYES, EYES!!!
Banana's got style!
SARAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Promises are Promises

Here I am.  Eating my ceramic ice cream of choice.  It came out rather hot if I do say so myself.  Or cold.  Or whatever.

THERE ARE SO M ANY FISH IN THE SEA. 
 
  
Just kidding.  BP had an oil spill.

Mom:  What did you learn at school today honey?
Me:  Apparently not enough.  I have to go back tomorrow.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Clips, Cows, Clay, and Clothes

It's time for me to stop using videos as posts, so next time I find a funny video, I'm just gonna put it in a video bar. (Pssst. Check out the video bar. Now. By now, I mean whenever I get around to putting the video bar on here.)
So. Anyways.
Soz that I haven't done ANYTHING AT ALL on my blog over the past half week. Last week was no computer week, and I got a lot of reading done, and so now I'm into this new series and it's really hard to put the book down. I just came downstairs from my room, ate a brownie crumb and half a bag of Utz Cheez Puff things, which were STALE because someone didn't put a chip clip on them. Behold the chip clip.
Love the chip clip. It will save you from numerous nasty encounters with cheez puffs that are difficult to eat because they are so old. Anywayzzzzzzzz... After that, I decided I should visit "that page on the web where I discuss my innermost thoughts and feelings". For example, I am dying to tell a joke. So here goes.
THERE ARE FOUR COWS.
(Some of you are already laughing, I know it. The ones that I've told the joke to. For you others, your life is about to be enlightened.)
One mama cow and three baby cows.
Baby Cow One asks, "Mama? Why am I named Rose?"
Mama Cow says, "Because when you were born, a rose petal landed on your head.
Baby Cow Two asks, "Mama? Why am I named Daisy?"
Mama Cow says, "Because when you were born, a daisy petal landed on your head."
Baby Cow Three asks, "Lalsfkjofoehrknsfkhdfndfkeheinnppafbrses?"
Mama Cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

Ahhhh, cow humor.
Next order of business. This past Sunday, two seriously cool chicks tried on shoes of various sorts, plus clothes ranking 12 on a 1-10 scale of ugliness. These stylin' chicas were first spotted at Marshall's, where the shorter of the two was accompanying her madre and her sister on a quest for the perfect first-day-of-dream-crushing-prison shoes. (Guys might not feel this way, but I believe that a good pair of shoes can make any day much sunnier. Especially ones that make me taller.) I should probably start at the beginning though, si? Mi familia (I'm taking Spanish. I'm mucho gusto, right? SHOUT OUT TO EMILY WHO LIKES SAYING "MUCHO GUSTO!" SAY IT FIVE TIMES FAST WHILE HOLDING YOUR TONGUE AND PETTING YOUR KNEE, IN HER HONOR!) had arrived home from camping earlier that morning, and after long showers where we washed off layers of bugspray and bugs, Mom, Julia and I picked up Aideen and Teagan, and we drove super-quick-like to TIME TO CLAY!!! Who doesn't love that place? Besides hoboes, who can't afford the prices. I mean, they charge you for breathing their air! $7 per person for two hours of oxygen and paint fumes! After stewing over the various breathtaking, dust covered clay pieces for three minutes, I chose an ice cream cone because it symbolized the end of summer and my love of ice cream. Clever, no? I will take a picture of me eating it when I get it on Sunday. Just remind me, because I have premature memory loss. After rushing to finish 30 seconds before TTC closed, we dashed across the street because it was getting really late, to Marshall's, one of the last stores Julia had yet to check for shoes. Aideen and I competed to see who could find the shoe with the highest heel. I found some four-inch thigh-high black leather boots that looked sooo snazzy with my beat up jean shorts and flashy tie-dye tee. When Aideen was wearing just those little sock things that don't do much when it comes to prevent spreading foot germs, and I was wearing the boots, I was the same height as her for the first time in my life! I feel so accomplished! I tried on a repulsive purple gray leopard print winter jacket, made my hair poof up with my headband, and struck a James Bond pose with my partner in crime, who was also sporting high-heeled boots. RANDOM QUESTION: DO GUYS HAVE TO WEAR THOSE LITTLE SOCK THINGS WHEN THEY TRY ON SHOES? After trying and failing to find shoes there, we finally arrived at DSW, where I believe I have a future as a window mannequin. I tried on high heeled clogs there, along with an oddly shaped hat, a scarf, a shoulder bag, and one of those oversized wallet things. People stared, pointed, and laughed, and I slipped up a couple times. I'd think they were gone, but the people would be looking in the window behind me, and I'd resume the position once again. We are just too cool.
Not much else has occured recently. Jail resumed a couple of days ago. And last night I spent two hours trying to mentally will the ice cream man to my street. I would be decorating my Spanish name tag in my bedroom, hear the familiar jingle, and tear down the stairs, grab my purse, and dash down the driveway. This occured three times. At eight, when we were eating dinner outside, because it was too hot indoors, I heard it for the final time, and leaped off the porch screaming "SOMEBODY GRAB MY PURSE!!!!!!!" I jumped the rock wall, stopped, listened, and full out sprinted to Scribner. Julia met up with me, handed me my cash, and we jumped around, flagging the ice cream man down, who turned out to be an ice cream woman instead. I got a chocolate ice cream covered in chocolate sauce in a chocolate cone with oreos on it. That was what made my day. My summer has now been fulfilled. And as I gnoshed on that $2.50 cone of joy, I reminisced about the summer. That puzzle that mom and I started in June? We finished last night. It was only 350 pieces too. All the day trips, crazy activities with my friends, endless IM conversations, bugbites... they made a pretty awesome vacation. One of the best, I'd say.
Gonna catch some shut eye. Buenos noches, mi amigos and amigas!
Lola (Sarah)
P.S. Just realized, guys wear socks with their shoes. All the time. They never wear tights or anything, so they don't need those beige thingies that fall off my feet. I'm glad that's all settled.