A Parting Gift

I am going to be taking a short, week long vacation from my blog, and all other screen material, and I don't have long. So, as a parting gift, please enjoy some stand up comedy from a very pale man who talks about food a lot. He reminds me of me. Except I'm tan and a girl.


"Hawwwwwwwt Pawkehhhhhts!" ;-)
See you next week!
Loves,
Sarah

Camp 2009

I was cleaning my desk out yesterday, and I found the notebook that I wrote in when I went to camp last summer. Every chance we got to rest, I would resist the allure of the book stuffed under my pillow and instead either write letters to my family and friends or write about my day in the journal. Some of it has really bad grammar because my hand would cramp so bad, I figured I'd understand what I was trying to say even 20 years in the future. So here it is, with grammar mistakes and all, although some parts have been removed for fear of offending people, should they ever stumble across this meaningless mush of words.

Sarah- Summer Camp 2009
(stuff in bold- I added as I typed)

June 28, 2009
I met my cabin mates. Sorrell, Emmie, and Rachel who is obsessed with blue! For dinner we had spaghetti w/ cheese! There was also bread! Retyping this, I realize I talked a lot about food and used a lot of exclamation points. Please don't get irritated. and peas, corn, carrots, and lima beans! I had 2 1% milks. I am nothing if not thorough. You even get to hear about what KIND of milk I drank. Lucky you. I got seconds of everything. I'm not afraid to admit I'm piggy. Mama does love her food. We acted out a skit where I was the clown school teacher! Everyone liked our skit the best! Wow I was snotty. Sorrell and I are slooowly mastering our Ping Pong skills. Julia handled everything well. Time for lights out! *presumably written the next day* (for dessert we had popcicles) One kid, named Andy, had to get up and sing a song because he put his elbows on the table! We sing LOTS of songs! Before every meal, during every meal, and at activities too. Finally, a sentence that doesn't end in an exclamation point! Shoot, I did it again. Sorrell and I chose all the same activities. BTW, Sorrell hated this camp with a vengeance, and does not plan on returning in the near or distant future. Rachel knows how to knit and purl. Emmie is 5' 10" and I know everything about Sorrell! Uhm, random and slightly stalker much? I <3>Gahhhh! I'm so annoying! I wasn't this annoying when I wasn't it publishing it for the internet to view. And I was not planning on typing in bold so much. I got red paint all over my leg and sock and sneaker after our skit. Under my pillow I keep my journal and book.

All righty. That's enough for now. And none of this is supposed to be in Italics. It just so happens that I have sucky luck.
Great. Add "pessimist" to the list of my character traits.
Wish I had some more of that cheesecake Sorrell and I got tonight.
Sarah

Initially Published Without a Title

Don't yell, don't scream, and please, hold the autographs until the end of the post. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...LAUREN FRODERMAN, CHAMPION OF SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE SEASON 7!

Now, believe me, I know how sick all of you are with me posting half-posts that revolve around this dumb show. And honestly, I only post the videos here so that I can watch them over and over and over without having to google them again. So put up with me one more time. Please. I'm begging.
I was way out east on vacay when The Grand Finale aired. And the t.v. did not have FOX as one of its channels, so I missed out on the live show. But, when I came home Sunday, I fed the pets that were hungry, both mine and Catherine's, and plopped my car seat-sore derrière on the couch for a four hour marathon of mind-numbing entertainment. There's not much for me to tell you about the first two hour episode. Robert, Kent, and Lauren danced 5 times each, four times with partners and one solo. The second show, there was a guest performance that Cat was hyping up into something so big, I thought Prez Obama was going to break dance for us. Sadly, that was not the case.

*SPONTANEOUS DANCING TO "DYNAMITE" AND "PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC"*

I knew who the guest star was because I saw her dancing to the best dance of the season on the news the week before. So I was bummed out that the surprise was ruined, but as soon as I saw her boogeying with Twitch on the 12"x14" television down the Cape, I closed my eyes real tight and in true teenager form stuck my fingers in my ears and screamed "LALALALALALALALA JULIA CHANGE THE CHANNEL LALALALALALA I DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHO WON LALALALALALA HURRY UP LALALALAAAAAAA!" until the image changed to "Seinfeld".
Youtube won't let me embed the video with the better quality here so here's the link- youtube.com
Admittedly, I firmly believed Kent was going to win. Not because I thought he was worthy, because I honestly believe that Lauren was not only a better dancer, but more adaptable to different styles. No, I thought Kent would win because of all the teenage girls you can hear screaming in the audience whenever Cat so much as mentioned his name. So, evidently, I was as shocked as Lauren was when Cat read her name from the little white card she so carefully pulled out of the envelope. But don't take my word for it. Watch it yourself!
This just gets worse and worse. Because of copyright issues, I can't find the season finale anywhere without having to install some random junk. So, instead, watch the last dance she ever performed this season, which I love because I know the words to the song, which makes it more fun for me. "My chick bad, badder badder then yours..."
Can't embed the video. This post fails. Stupid youtube.
youtube.com (again)
Gonna go wallow in my own self-pity.
L8r g8rs.
Sarah
P.S. As far as I know, you are now free of listening to me ramble on about SYTYCD. Congrats!!!

Yerrrrrrr Out!

And so, last night, AdeChike was indeed voted off. To my astonished self, he didn't cry, which is a miracle in itself because then I might have actually felt bad for him. When we were showed the clip of how he's done over the season, they showed him at auditions in Vegas, where he was shedding tears left and right. Yet, the moment wasn't sad, because as he was weeping he said "'I'm crying like a pregnant woman!'" I had to smile at that. The other three contestants will compete for the title "America's Favorite Dancer" on Wednesday night. Who will it be?

Lauren Froderman of Phoenix, Arizona?Robert Roldan? The contestant with height to rival Cat Deeley's, from North Hollywood, CA?

Or will the winning dancer be Kent Boyd, the goofy blonde from Wapakoneta, Ohio?

I'm excited just thinking about it!
Sarah

The End is Near

Tomorrow I'll have almost zilch-o time at home, and so I need to write this now. I've put it off long enough. You would think I would have done this earlier today, seeing as all that I've done for the past four hours or so is read. The same book, the same position on the couch, the same incessant growling of my stomach. But this task is so daunting, my willpower so close to nil, that I need the power of music! CUE THE LADY GAGA!
Nope. The last song my friends listened to yesterday was Your Love is My Drug. I guess we'll stick with Ke$ha for now.
Sunday July 18
Megan came over at 10:30, much to the disgust of my sleeping self. I had to get up at 9:30 BLACK EYED PEAS- MEET ME HALFWAY, eat, brush my teeth, other necessary preparations for facing the public, and put on sunscreen. I absolutely detest the feeling of sunscreen, but love the smell. A girl can't have it all, can she? Anyways... I was lathering up in the kitchen, with Mom spouting off a checklist of stuff I needed to have with me, when Megan rang the doorbell. I was all "Come in, come in, I'm just running late, like always!" When my arms were loaded up with a bag of lunch and change of clothes, Megan led me outside, where I was rather surprised. "Where's your car?" Megan laughed and pointed down my never-ending driveway. "Dad didn't want to try to maneuver his way down the driveway TIMBALAND- THE WAY I ARE with the boat so he parked in the street." That made total sense to me, because my driveway is this weird, curvy snakelike thing that few daring people manage to back down without crushing my dehydrated grass. Anyways, this day is still not over and I've only talked you up to about 10:38. I'll start typing reallyreallyreally fast, and thinking like I'm not craving an ice cream sandwich. FERGIE-BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY Zeke was in the car, and Megan pointed out powdered sugar she and Sorrell had spilled onto the car floor as a result of their disastrous fried dough eating attempt. (Megan had invited me to go too, but I was having a super fun time camping! Bird poop, farting men, watermelon slugs, etc.) When we got to the dock where Megan and Family push the boat into the water, I stepped aside and watched as they used an intricate system of calling to each other to work the boat into the water, with Megan shouting directions to her father who was driving the car, and her brother who was sitting in the boat, ready to gun the engine once the boat was floating. Once that was all settled, and I had gotten myself into the boat, Mr. J steered the boat north. Within the first twenty seconds of FLO RIDA- LOW us zipping up the Merrimack, my headband flew out of my hair into the river behind me. I shouldn't have assumed the largeness of my head would keep it in there. But you know what they say about assuming stuff. Consequently, it was difficult to see for the rest of the ride, what with the wind whipping my hair in my face in an anti-modelesque way. Megan gave the first demonstration on how to water ski, and she was totally awesome! Didn't fall once, that Megan didn't. Then I let Zeke go, so I could get another example of how to get the skis on in the water and get up out of the water once we started moving. Zeke did even better than Megan, if that's possible. And then it was my turn. EPIC. FAILURE. I tried to get up three times, and I was pulled out of my skis each time. Finally, I said I would let Megan and Zeke LEELA JAMES-TELL ME YOU LOVE ME go again so I could learn more from their wise ways. Megan went first, then Zeke Velcro'ed himself to the kneeboard. As we sped south, we hit some unexpected rocks. We watched the propeller bounce up and down, and then Zeke, which was actually really funny, and our fast movement was done for the day. We couldn't do much more than putt our way back to the loading dock area. And we were about as far away as you can get. We decided we might as well eat lunch right then, seeing as it was already 12. I ate a very healthy lunch of a peanut butter sandwich, a bag of Doritos, RIHANNA- SOS and the pretzels that I picked out of the family size Chex Mix. We played the food memory game, where you name a food, then the person after you has to name the food you did and one of their own, and so on. It was more fun when we did it with drinks. It's contents included: Sprite, Sprite Zero, a martini on the rocks, beer, Shirley Temple, coconut milk, water, beer, lemonade, grape juice, White Zinfendel, and there were more that weren't as memorable. It took me forever to learn how to say Zinfendel. Zeke had to keep saying "Zin. Fen. Dellllllllll." And there was a whole debate over whether coconut liquid is called milk or juice. I was team Coconut Milk, and it was a legit heated discussion. KE$HA- TIK TOK
The reason there are so few words in between each song is because I would stop typing and start singing the songs. We swam in the river for awhile when it got too hot, and lucky for us, we were not turned into mutant creatures of the night. I sat on the tube for awhile, making Zeke and Megan pull me around the river whilst letting me call them my minions. When we were done with that, Megan's dad hooked up the tube to the boat and we floated back on it after about twenty minutes of us trying to get on the tube. We eventually pulled it to the boat and jumped onto it, which was difficult because I had to figure out a way to jump onto it without severely injuring Megan. We floated peacefully BEYONCE- SINGLE LADIES for about ten minutes, when Megan fell off. I tried to keep the tube level for her to reboard while also holding my foot out to her so we wouldn't abandon her. Another fail, another jump from the side of the boat. We then had to arrange ourselves so she laid across the entire tube, with me on top of her, making a cross. After the initial weirdness of that, we started waving to people on other watercraft who were going a bajillion miles faster than us. And of course, with my luck, the waves those people made caused Megan to shift, which pushed me off the tube. We weren't allowed on the tube anymore after that. Ugh. That day is over. Thank goodness. BLACK EYED PEAS- LET'S GET IT STARTED BTW, Julia went to camp that day. I forgot that small detail.
Monday July 19
I'm going to stop recording every single detail. I really put a lot of effort into that last day. Too bad I have 17 days more to recount. I went to work with Dad, and read a lot of my book. I made 14 cents in tips (woo! almost enough to buy a stick of gum!) RIHANNA- SHUT UP AND DRIVE and learned to handle the register better than before. Lefty came in and I made a crack about how people always call him Lefty, why not Righty? He didn't get it. Jon came in the evening, and we ate a pizza. Almost. There were a couple slices leftover, but in the grand scheme of things, that's about 66.6% of a pie. That's impressive, right? Then we were loaded into his mom's shiny car, and drove foreeeeeeeeever to a golf place right down the street. I got my butt handed to me on a shining silver pedestal. Silver because I came in second. We practiced for a while, did some imitations of people we know who are missing mini versions of limbs KE$HA- BLAH BLAH BLAH and elderly folk. Then we were rushed through the course because of some people behind us who were too good and fast for our skill level. The scores were depressing, partly because I know I would have lost by a lot more had it not been for the insane pro golfer couple behind us. So I didn't even lose honestly! And we had some disaster ice cream that got all over my arm, table, and anything else in sight. We befriended a small gray bird, and silently laughed at a little boy who was wearing some interesting footwear. MADONNA- FOUR MINUTES I got some amazingly sweet presents from him that I absolutely adore, especially the necklace!
Okay, Julia's gonna kick me off the computer in a couple minutes, so I need to start coloring words and adding pictures and stuff. I only got two days done (how is that possible??? It's been a half hour!) but hopefully I'll find time on Saturday.
GOING TO WATCH SYTYCD IN A HALF HOUR!
Sarah